Losing Ideals
by Noir Memoire
Summary: Every person has their ideals, concepts and beliefs that make them who they are. What happens when a thief who's contributed most of her life to her profession to survive, finally taste full blast what exactly love is, and how it changes a person...?


**Author's Note: Gahh~!!! This is my first Pokémon one-shot, or however you would categorize this. But, I will be a stubborn person and call it a one-shot, unless I have to turn it into a short story comprised of five or four or whatever chapters… Just Read and Review and such.**

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"_Everyone has their ideals, their concepts, their beliefs and all that jazz. It makes them who they are. What happens to us after we begin to lose these things though? Doubt them? What becomes of us then…?"_

* * *

Before me was an illustrious mansion, sprawling across more than enough acres of land to make any farmer richer beyond their wildest dreams. The mansion itself wasn't all actual housing however. Moreover, most of the mansion was garden, balcony or some sort of room meant for entertainment. The mansion was even grand enough to be quite a few (by my counting, 7) stories high; quite a drop. Moonlight hit the pale walls of the building, illuminating it, whereas the black paint barely shown as if it were a part of the night itself. There were plenty of trees dotting around the area, and sprawling meadows surrounding with the only real path being a large enough, winding dirt road from the city all the way there. I watched the grass sway from the very same winds blowing gently through my fur. The lights emanating brightly from the windows of the mansion were alight with partying and merriment.

"How nice it must be to have all so much money," I whispered to myself, the wind slowly changing its course to push against me. "So blissfully unaware of all those who would love to shatter all you have right then and there; to hold it as their own, but yet unaware of what they are unaware of… Quite all so confusing in the most common forms even."

A small smile grew thin across my face, the ideas racing through my head: the prospect of being caught, the idea of throwing everyone in there into a panic, the feeling of being able to do something that few only ever dream of or get caught whilst doing so. Any one of these and all of these were excellent reasons for me to be out there alone, slowly padding my way towards the building. My purple rings pulsed excitedly in the moonlight, my head growing slightly fuzzy. No. Now wasn't the time to let anything get ahead of me. Now was going to be the perfect moment for everything to take place. Nothing could go wrong.

* * *

In the modern day version of thief is a person/Pokémon who steals either secretly or without use of force; one who is guilty of theft or larceny. In my definition of thief, it's anyone who does what they can to survive by taking what is that of others so that they can help support themselves. My definition sounds more justified, and it should be, seeing that I _was _a thief, and moreover, a great thief.

I slowly made my way closer to the mansion, the night being an excellent cover for me if it weren't for my rings still pulsing. I hastily ducked down, closer to the grass, trying to stop my rings' pulsing as something black flew overhead. I noted the talons and crown of feathers on the avian Pokémon above, quickly noting it as simply being a Murkrow. Low threat. I sighed deeply. Maybe I was taking this too seriously this time. It was a party. I needed to look hot, sexy and mysterious or shy, curious and polite. Not feeling up for putting on the façade, I chose the first of the two.

Still, I didn't want this to be easy for me, Arceus knows why. Luckily for me, the landscaper of the mansion, bless his soul, had had trees planted near one of the balconies. Double luckily, the gardener, bless his soul as well, had not trimmed the branches yet, leaving them long and wide enough for me to climb and jump off of. Without a misstep, I quickly climbed up the tree, dashing off a branch and landing upon the balcony with a leap. Empty, but the door left open just a crack. Too easy.

I quickly fixed on a pure white bow around my neck before making my way a ways downstairs towards the main ballroom. I had studied the plans to the mansion many times over. There were no places I didn't know about except for a few which where I had doubts even existed. This mansion was old, ancient even. It was an inherited artifact passed down from the owner to the next generation. However, that didn't mean that the mansion was designed to be so. With its old-style flair on the outside, it had much more modern tastes on the inside, but not exactly so. Everything was covered by some sort of fancy bauble or paining or tapestry of the sort, depicting Pokémon playing with humans, all of which was just money down the drain. It was somewhat reassuring, but annoyingly bright due to the overuse of gems upon pottery and overly-polished picture frames.

"Greetings there… I believe that you may be lost," a voice asked coolly from behind me. Without hesitation, I kept on forth, ignoring the voice, doing my best not to show how my ears were trying to tune onto it. A quiet exhale was heard as whoever was behind me placed their paw upon my right shoulder, stopping me. I made it a point by pivoting my own paw hard into the carpeting as I turned around, that whatever it was I wasn't really interested in whatever they had to say.

"Uhm, hello," a glossy light grey Pokémon quietly stated. Their fur had shown brilliantly in the light, a flowing, silky looking mane of fur wrapping around his neck accompanied by a black bowtie. A dark blue, scythe-like protrusion on the side of their head looked deadly enough to strike down any unwilling flow, a tuff of grey fur falling over one eye. Their scimitar-like tail flicked once before staying back down. If looks could kill, we would be beating each other to death seeing as his eyes traced over me just as mine over him. He coughed slightly. "Well, hello. My name is Ballad. You appeared to be lost. Would you like some assistance getting back to the main ballroom? It's really the most exciting right now."

Judging from his physiology, I concluded that he was an Absol, and a well-groomed one at that. I felt my face burn slightly from his offer, but it didn't show much at all in my black fur.

"No thanks. I know where it is. You go off where ever you will," I replied, pushing him away. At first he seemed hurt but it quickly transitioned into understanding. He nodded his head quietly, walking off in the direction I was. Perhaps I was a bit too hasty. I hadn't given him my name at all either and had simply shot him down. Was he possibly hitting on me with that escort trick? No, his eyes said he was pretty much innocent. I decided to drop it and start over again.

"My name's Marissa," I blurted out suddenly, one of his steps cutting to half of one. He looked over his left shoulder, the tuff of hair covering his other eye parting, letting me see his other crimson red eye. He seemed relieved, almost as if he were worrying over me and my response. So much for hot, sexy and mysterious… or at least mysterious." Could I possibly take you up on that offer to the main ballroom? We're going to the same place I think… right… err…?" As plain as it was, I was still a female with female thoughts and such. There were bound to be times that there would be an attractive male that would throw me off.

"Ballad. My name's Ballad," he replied with a small smile, accompanying his over the shoulder stare. He really was good looking, or that was until I told myself to stop drooling over males and refocus myself on what I had on hand. Ballad; I really needed to control my focus. "Well. Just follow after me." Excellent. Just follow him and you'll be so much closer to your prize.

I let my mind drift to the actual reason for why I was there in the first place: The Titans' Crest. There's a legend that dates back far and boarders up near the Sinnoh Creation story, but still that much longer. The story tells of one lord that rises up, befriending the other lords and halts a massive war that seems to wax and wane from it's very beginning. From files I had… procured… I learned that the theorized war may actually still be going on around places, underground even up to this point. The Titans' Crest was, or rather is, an artifact dug up that matches symbols and emblems of the armies and lords back then. More importantly, the Titans' Crest belonged to the fifth lord who took hold and halted most of the war. However to me, whatever the Titans' Crest really was, it was simply some shiny trinket worth a hell of a lot.

"So why are you here in the first place, I mean, probably besides having a good time," the Absol, Ballad asked curiously. I couldn't hint any sign of malice behind his words, mostly innocence and confusion. I was even starting to doubt if he was even an Absol. Most Absol I had met already were dark, brooding and puzzling. He seemed… really odd for an Absol. I suppose that things go that way with the entire freaking rainbow of personalities that stretch across this godforsaken world.

"Well… I was invited," I lied, even believing myself with my slight shy tone I induced. I mean, I wasn't explicitly bad, just when necessary and such. I think a Jolteon I had met before called it being a, "tsundere," whatever the hell that meant. "So, I suppose I came along. Not sure if the party is initially any fun… How about you?"

"The party is okay I suppose- I mean, it's supposed to celebrate the discovery of some artifact. I left for a bit seeing as that it was like we were celebrating some piece of crap found in the earth, pardon my language," Ballad mused, turning his head forth. I unconsciously laughed at him. He turned his gaze down and away, a slight blush visible on his muzzle. I sighed quietly after that. Maybe he wasn't one who was complimented often or maybe even complimented way too much. "Overall, I guess the party isn't much fun since there hasn't been anyone interesting to talk to… like you. Beautiful rings by the way. Many Umbreon I know have the usual yellow rings and a few with those blue rings but… I love the shade of purple they glow whenever they pulse gently like that. Are those natural? I mean, either way, they're amazing."

I acknowledged his compliment with a real shy giggle escaping from me. I had to recollect myself. Just because I was being complimented didn't mean I had to lose my mind about it; and were my rings really pulsing? I hadn't noticed it. Was he doing this on purpose? Complimenting me like this? No, he seemed too innocent, and way too innocent at that, seeing that he was somewhat oblivious to the fact I was blushing redder than a Cheri Berry. I muttered out, "Y-yeah. They're natural." Why did I just tell him the truth? I wanted to facepaw myself seeing that I had so easily given something private so easily.

"Well that's doubly amazing to me. Extraordinarily captivating. You must really get other males attention pretty easily, especially with those matching eyes of yours. Purples really is your color, it really highlights all your features." I felt my mind go fuzzy. He really knew a way with words. Everything he said came out melodiously.

"You have a beautiful voice," I said unconsciously. The Absol turned his head back again, his crimson eyes locking onto mine, without a doubt. A kind smile grew across his face as we reached a pair of large, double sided doors opened wide to reveal a plethora of numerous species of Pokémon all talking, dancing (or at least the ones who could were), and simply enjoying themselves. "Thanks for that," Ballad smiled before walking in, quickly disappearing among the crowd. I quietly hoped that I would meet him soon.

Just as quickly as Ballad had, I disappeared amongst the crowd, searching for two to four things: the Titans' Crest, Ballad, other cute males and the Pokémon belonging to the host of the party. Quite frankly, I wasn't sure which ones I was more focused on. Rather than making a fuss over trying to find the Titans' Crest so immediately, I sat idly by against a marble pillar near the drinks. A Gallade, a green and white Pokémon that had extendable blade-like arms that made it seem as if it were carrying the human weapons called tonfas, carried a tray of drinks with one hand; also, offering me one comprised of a blend of berries with just a bit of what I could taste was some sort of light alcohol. Being just two and two months old, I questioned my consumption of human alcohol at times, which assuredly was rare but I came to the fact that this wouldn't be enough to actually get me drunk.

I watched with one eye slightly open at the males who would stare in my direction as I took a sip from my drink. Only a few were actually worth mention to me; a Growlithe staring at me from the side, an Umbreon with blue rings nonchalantly gazing over a few meters over and a Glaceon in the crowd that was approaching my position, flickering like a flame in the crowd. Before I could realize it, the Glaceon walked up beside me from behind. Did he just pull a Houdini on me? I could have sworn that he was right in front of me a few second before. I could tell since the Glaceon was dressed with a small black hat with holes for his ears and a black bowtie almost like Ballad's. Adding onto that, he was mainly white like a shiny Glaceon, but with black where there would have been blue. If I had to give him a threat level, I'd most likely be moderate or so.

"Greetings there. My name is Siero," the Glaceon said, giving a slight bow. "May I assume that you are Miss Marissa?" I glanced at the Glaceon, Siero in slight shock still, trying to comprehend how he had disappeared. I disregarded it for a moment, answering him with a quiet, "Yes…?"

"Splendid," the Glaceon smiled brightly, walking before continuing on with a strange tone in his voice. "So how are you enjoying the party so far? I was watching from a nice little area, all the guests who were pouring in from earlier. I don't think I saw you, an, and I quote, 'extraordinary, beautiful Umbreon with entrancing purple rings' enter. Why is that?" I was beginning to get a little wary of this guy. More than I should have. He was obviously implying that he was watching the guests as they came in. I being an Umbreon with purple eyes and rings, uncommon in itself, would have been spotted almost immediately. And where exactly had he gotten that quote from? Who was I kidding? Who was the **only** other person there who knew me and told this guy here?

"Would you care to go for a walk elsewhere Miss Marissa," Siero continued, not waiting for an answer but not really impatient for one either. I weighed the options with him questioningly; He probably had connections with Ballad, he knew about me, he probably knew about the Titans' Crest and he admittedly had my curiosity wrapped around his paw. I nodded, finishing up the rest of my drink as I followed after him.

* * *

Siero or whatever his name was led us off, away from the party. We were going up, towards the roof of the mansion where a large empty space usually meant for summer parties was placed. For some reason, I felt somewhat comfortable around Siero for some reason. He reminded me of something. Something comfortable in my mind was flickering from being around him. Was it that he was working that hot, sexy and mysterious angle I was going for earlier? Maybe it was something more unconscious, something I didn't initially realize.

I scanned around as we made our final few steps to the top of the mansion. It was absolutely calming, absolutely breathtaking. There were only a few tables and chairs up there and us, but the moon was in full view before us. I could feel my rings pulse quickly, the moonlight giving me the odd euphoric feeling whenever I was exposed to it so openly. I looked over to Siero who was sitting in the middle of the roof already, icy fur glinting and glowing positively radiantly in the moon's light. He turned his head over his shoulder, giving me the exact same polite smile that Ballad was so amazing at giving. "Those rings of yours really are beautiful. I feel almost unworthy to be in the presence of a female with such goddess-like qualities. Maybe I should leave so not to make you feel uncomfortable…"

"No," I said quickly, wanting to then smack myself. Why did I just stop him? There were times I absolutely hated the romantic side of my personality, pushing me to try and find someone nice. "D-don't leave just yet. We can talk for a bit." The Glaceon smiled brightly, turning his attention back towards the moon. I slowly made my way beside him, sitting as close as I dared to him. He chuckled lightly, "I'm not going to bite you… hard." It made me laugh for a few minutes before causing a slight awkward silence. How many good looking, curiosity inducing, funny males were even at this damn party? I scooted closer to him, a slight brisk chill washing over me.

"You looked so adorable sitting against that pillar, just looking at other males. Almost made it seem like you were inviting those who were able, that Growlithe and Umbreon who realized it," Siero laughed quietly before regaining composure. "I think you've met my friend, Ballad already. I saw you two walking in together while I was waiting for him. You two make quite the cute couple. Both kind and shy. Why, I'm almost jealous at how big of an impression he may have put on you."

If I could, I would have flushed a deeper red than a Tamato berry from all of his compliments. I suppose that I don't work so well when being bombarded with kind words from attractive people. This was the most mind-racking mission I had been on so far. I don't rely on anyone else, I plan everything out by myself and I do everything by myself. Working or interacting with others is somewhat difficult, even though I do seek people out to talk or entertain me on said missions.

"He seemed like a really nice Absol. He's polite, kind, has a nice voice…"

"I see. So, he hasn't completely got you wrapped around his finger, now does he," Siero said, chuckling lightly and supposedly catching my blush. A cool wind blew over me before I realized that it was him doing so; exhaling a calming, slightly icy gale around me. If this was his way to calm me down, then it was working. "Well, there are plenty of Pokémon like that in the world, seems like a shame to me. You seem out of place here, near the mansion, not the moonlight I mean. There's something about you that makes me a bit uneasy, but it's for the exact same reason that it's drawing me in closer. There's also something about you that I want to know more about, but prying isn't something I'd like to do to someone as radiant as you are. Believe me, I'm simply saying what's on my mind, and without a doubt… You've captured my fullest attention; something not any female can do… but what seems wrong? … do you need assistance with some-."

"_I-I don't need anyone,"_ I quietly cut him off. He didn't reply so much as he smiled a little bit confusedly. I sighed, my body trembling, but why? Was it because of him or was it that he was telling the truth, about both him and myself that I felt so uneasy? "…I-I don't need anyone… In a romantic, platonic or in any sort of sense, I don't need anyone… I've always done well by myself…" Suddenly, I felt his cool fur brush gently against mine, his neck crossed against my own. I was trembling, eyes beginning to tear up. What was going on? Was this some kind of attack? Maybe not physical, but on a more emotional, mental level? Whatever he was doing, it has just made his threat level jump to dangerous.

"Everyone's going to need another person at some point. I understand what you're saying completely. I've gone through the same feelings before. I don't want to force anything upon you, but I do really want to know you better." I felt him whisper the words lightly into my ear one of his paws moving up to my ear and moving close down to my chin. Everything around me began to lose focus, all of it moving to him. He rose my face up, bringing it closer to his. Inch by inch.

He became so close, closer than any male had ever gotten to me. His muzzle was just centimeters to mine… I closed my eyes tightly… and then…

He pulled back and away.

I was burning at this, not from anger, but from surprise and embarrassment. Was I really just about to kiss a Glaceon that I really didn't know at all willingly? To give him my first kiss? What… why was I even doing this at all now? Romance? I was a thief. I stole what I needed and supported myself… but I had always thought about love so often. Was I actually willing to chance it with him? Siero smiled, both in happiness and amusement. He did seem nice… more than nice. Different, but better than that still. It was cruel, but almost right in when he said that there were others like Ballad in the world.

It hurt, burned, and helped to look at him. What I thought of Ballad earlier didn't compare to this. It was a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time and it hurt so much. It ached in my chest. It made me breathe hard out, my heart rate jumping erratically. My paws felt weak being beside him, mouth dry. And it didn't just stop there. The way his body was pressing so comfortably against mine, his soft, whispered words, the chill he gave off, the feeling of his eyes entwined with mine… I wanted it again… I wanted it more.

_I wanted him to finish what I thought he was starting._

"I know all about you Marissa… or rather Mari," he said a little dismissively. "Theft, murder, and several other crimes I don't very well have to list… Such a naughty girl, but still you do want to change that. You were looking for something, the Titans' Crest down below in the main ballroom, am I right? There are many more things worth your time, but maybe I'm not one of them.

"Here's an item that may interest you more," he whispered out, pulling a small pouch out from within the knot of his bowtie. Siero undid the drawstring on the pouch, pulling out a curious little trinket. Held in his paw was what seemed to be a choker with a purple, gyroscope-like bell. I looked at in disbelief. Wasn't this-?

"It's not what you think it is," he quickly said, blinking at it, "It's not the Titans' Crest, but very easily mistaken to be. No, my dear Marissa, this is the Deus Ex Machina; something of greater importance over the Titans' Crest. But… you will find out much on your own after all, and even more when the time is right. As for now… I will have to go." He moved slowly backwards, eyes cast on me in a melancholic way. Something seemed to pull within me. Was he really saying goodbye for good? No, it couldn't be. Not after what he did. But, maybe if he left, I would feel better. He was doing something to me, but it felt kind of nice.

"Y-you can't go… please not yet… I've lost all interest in this mission and … the interest has gone…t-to… you can't go," I pleaded. Carefully and quietly, I felt his paws go around my neck; he was tying up the choker. "Siero… please… stay longer…" He moved quickly and swiftly, knocking me back, but just so that it didn't hurt. There, I felt something warm and soft press against my muzzle. Quietly, I cried but half of sadness, the other out of love. He was kissing me…

The kiss was moving fast however. It turned from soft and slow, gradually becoming more and more passionate, more desired. My rings pulsed quickly, erratically and strongly. It was growing more and more hot, but still cool from his icy fur, which I found to actually be a little bit prickly. It didn't matter to me however. What mattered more was how this all felt. How was this going to change me? I had admitted that because of just Siero stealing my heart had just changed the entire aspect of my mission. What was stealing to me now anyways? Most of my life, I've been a thief. What was I now? I had always thought about love, and here it was being shown right before me. But did Siero really love me back? This was all too complex for me to handle.

Eventually, he broke away the kiss, the two of us both gasping for air. I felt weak and overpowered, but all the same, I loved it. I loved him. I sat up quickly, falling flat onto my side. Had_that _ever been so draining… I scanned around hurriedly remembering Siero. He was still there assuredly, sitting up, a dark red blush on his face. I giggled lying there as he looked almost solemnly at me.

"Well this is where we'll part ways for now," the Glaceon breathed out, his breath fogged. Quickly, the air chilled, his blush fading now. "Oh… and just for the record, if you do choose to come after me, and truly want to love me… You'll have to be able to understand anything that comes. Don't doubt in me. I'll be in the places where you'll be, and I'll even visit at times. Loving me will change you. For the better or worse, that's completely up to you. I'm not like anyone you have known before, but maybe I am… Well, if I were to explain, it'd confuse you. Just one last thing before I depart… I've always loved you."

He smirked before turning his gaze to the sky which had considerably cleared in the span of time I had been focusing on him. He gave a sharp whistle, followed by a sudden kind of solid mist floating in and around him. It took me a moment to realize that the mass was actually a murder of Murkrow with a larger black bird standing beside Siero; just on a hunch, I guessed it was a Honchkrow. The avian Pokémon all took off at once, and where Siero was standing was empty.

"Good-bye Mari," a voice called out from the murder of birds. I looked skyward to the black mass to see that each bird was wearing a kind of harness connected by a wire to what seemed like a basket. What's more was that with no doubt, a certain Glaceon was sitting in that basket. "May I see you again soon~."

Tears began streaming down hard. I watched as the first male I had admitted to myself that I had loved, was flying off and away by a shroud of darkness against the moon. I began yelling out loudly.

"Good-bye Siero~!" I shouted hard. I kept shouting it so that he could hear me. So that everything around me could stay invisible and that he would be the only thing to focus on, even with my tears obscuring my sight. I didn't want him to leave. Why did he have to? But there was something solid I could rely on. He always loved me…

I remained on the rooftop, still in the exact same spot, staring up at the moon. Everything around me began to stick out more with him gone. I was rewinding and replaying the short moments I had with Siero in my head. They were really short, but very meaningful. He was all I could really think about right then. I had completely forgotten the Deus ex Machina choker hanging around my neck and the Titans' Crest down below. Something then began to stick out to me.

"…_Just one last thing… I've always loved you."_

Always… but since when was that? Maybe it was him still joking around. Always didn't make sense chronologically. But he was right about loving him. It was going to change me, and it even was now. But I don't think anything could have felt better.

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"…_What happens to us when we lose ourselves? What are we then? Well, after that, we're anything we want to be. We create ourselves, break ourselves and remake ourselves. It's not so much losing ideals as it is making better ones for us."_

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**Hmm… Seems complicated almost; the prospect of turning this into a short story, I mean. I know, that this was somewhat hard to read and understand, so maybe making it a short story thing would help. Then again, it makes things difficult when I have to take stuff into account. Well, Read and Review. Be sincere about what you think. Godspeed.**

**-NS**


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